Why choose pain?

Every time I see bad news online, my heart stops for a moment. There is a pause. When everything, except time, stands still. The time I take to decide whether to click on and read more or to scroll on and avoid more pain. Invariably, it is more painful if I read on. Yet, I always click and read. And my heart aches with another story of inhumanity and suffering. I cannot compare my hurt to those actually hurt but I do hurt too. In a very miniscule fashion, but it is my heart. And it hurts.

Today again I clicked to read and it was about 5 teenagers in Florida shooting a video of a man drowning in front of them, while laughing and joking about it, and not bothering to inform anyone about his death. How that man’s body was found days later and how he was disabled and how the law seems to suggest there is no crime to charge them and how the boys don’t show any remorse!

Before I let another hurt lodge itself right inside my heart, I stopped to ask myself why? Why do I choose pain? How does my reading more and getting hurt help in any way? What difference does it make other than making me unhappy?

My heart replied softly but with total conviction – “So that you remember and keep that memory alive always”. Somehow that made sense to me and answered all my questions. And I continue to read so I never forget.


– 22 July 2017

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