#30daysofwriting – Aug 25th

#30daysofwriting #writeyourselfalive #writeeverydamnday #justwrite

Aug 25th

12steps

This post on Facebook seemed to be talking to me today so I thought we could discuss it here. Let us take it step by step:

1. If it feels wrong, don’t do it.

This is so true. Read it carefully. We are talking about our feelings here. If it FEELS wrong to YOU, then don’t do it. We need to be aware of our feelings when we do something. This means that we need to assess how we feel about doing something before we actually get to doing it. I would say if we feel unsure then we need to take time out and wait till clarity is achieved before we do it. I know this might sound like a dampener for spontaneity but this is not true. I think we need to be so tuned to our inner voice that we are spontaneous because we are sure about what we are feeling! How to get to that level of awareness? Now that is what you and I need to figure out.

2. Say “exactly” what you mean.

Now this is tricky. To say exactly what you mean, firstly you need to know what you mean (the message) and then be able to communicate it so well that the receiver of that communication understands it perfectly. We all know that the crux of communication is making the audience get what you are trying to convey. There are so many variables here that play a role in the entire process. These include the language used, words, tone of voice, expression, timing and so on. All of these can influence the outcome of the communication process. I would say we need to start with being very clear about what we are trying to convey. Next comes the task of choosing the mode of communication (verbal, written, etc.) and then doing it with complete sincerity. Finally we need to get feedback from the audience so we know that they have understood what we are trying to convey. Point is unless we take the pains to ensure we are properly understood, chances are its not going to happen. And we all know how it feels to be misunderstood. So yes, say “exactly” what you mean. Each time. Always.

3. Don’t be a people pleaser.

What does it mean to be a people pleaser? Saying Yes to everyone just so they are happy? Making adjustments and compromises in order to blend in? Giving up on your dreams and desires so that others may achieve theirs? Doing whatever it takes to please others? Why would anyone do that? I feel the answer is simple. If we are looking for approval from outside, then all of the above make sense. The world is a tough place and most people are struggling to make sense of their own lives. As long as we feel the need to be a part of society, we have to play by its rules and limit ourselves accordingly. However, if we are confident of our purpose in life and know our place in this world then we would be able to stop looking for approval from outside. It is not easy to find that approval from within. I know this. But I also know that nothing good in life ever comes easy. So why not make that effort to find your core, to anchor yourself from within?

4. Trust your instincts.

I know this one. My instincts have always guided me. Sometimes I have been fortunate enough to have listened to my instincts and on occasion I have foolishly ignored it to repent later. But through the years I know my instincts have consistently been right. Always. This is true for everyone. Not all are in touch with their instincts and this is a sad truth. I would say we all need to be aware of this huge advantage we have and ensure that we use it to the best possible extent. So start today. Be aware.

5. Never speak bad about yourself.

Its so funny that we need to be reminded about this! Why do we speak badly about ourselves? We know we do. Some do it more than others. But we all do it every now and then. It could be something as simple as “I am so stupid” or more serious like “I am always wrong”. What we don’t realize is that by saying it out loud either to ourselves or to others, we are reinforcing this belief in our system somehow. Negative emotions are strong and the more you give it power the more you believe it. So starting today, step back each time you think or say or feel something negative about yourself. Think of it this way. Would you say it to your best friend? Think about it. Would you?

6. Never give up on your dreams.

Yes. I agree completely. We all have dreams. It could be anything really. Need not be some grand scheme of conquering the world or anything like that. Simple stuff could also be powerful. Whatever it may be we need to keep it alive and protect it at all times. We need to nurture it and give it all our love and attention in order to make it come true. If you visualize your dream in detail, and give it the space to grow then I can assure you it will come true.

7. Don’t be afraid to say “No”.
8. Don’t be afraid to say “Yes”.

Both these statements are like two sides to the same coin. If we learn the skill of saying a NO to everything that drains our energy and leaves us worse off than we were, then it will surely lead to us being able to say a resounding YES to all that fills our hearts with positive energy and pure LIFE. Start with a NO to what doesn’t make your heart sing and make sure you say a YES to every single opportunity that makes your heart dance!

9. Be KIND to yourself.

Sometimes I wonder how some of us can forget this simple message. Do we really need someone to tell us to be kind to ourselves? I believe this world needs more kindness than anything else really and we should all start practicing this every single moment of our lives. Unless we do this I doubt if we will find it possible to always be kind to ourselves. We know how to do it. Just that we have forgotten how simple it used to be. Take an effort to remind yourself and make this world a better place.

10. Let go of what you can’t control.

Letting go is always hard. We tend to find it easier to grab onto something always. Often when we are faced with situations that are completely out of our control, we end up doing our best to control it one way or the other. And when this doesn’t happen or it happens in a counter productive manner, we get stressed and make matters worse. Unless we let go sometimes there is no way forward. Look at it this way. If you can’t control it then why let it stress you out? Just let go and see what happens.

11. Stay away from drama and negativity.

We have enough issues to deal with in this one lifetime. All of us do. Some of it is inevitable and even necessary for us to grow and reach our true potential. Some of it is totally unnecessary and can or should be avoided. Drama and negativity only drains us and we need to conserve our energies for the right battles. So this is sane advice. Stay away from negativity!

12. LOVE

Now what can I say about this. Either you know it. Or you don’t. Words cannot even begin to express what Love is or is not. And yet sometimes words are all there is.

Let me end with a quote by the famous Sufi mystic, Rumi:

“I have phrases and whole pages memorized,
but nothing can be told of love.
You must wait until you and I
are living together.
In the conversation we’ll have
then…be patient…then”
– From ‘Essential Rumi’ by Coleman Barks

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