#30daysofwriting – Aug 22nd

#30daysofwriting #writeyourselfalive #writeeverydamnday #justwrite

Aug 22nd

How Real is Real? This question has been on my mind today. As is my usual practice, I ended up googling this and came upon an interesting read. There is a book called ‘how real is real?’ And it seems to put forth some interesting observations. Let me share some of it here:

“After reading Watzlawick’s ‘How real is real?’ you might make a conclusion that it is impossible to communicate. That much more common is confusion or misunderstanding. Most people would blame their conversational partner but the reason is that each of us understand the reality differently. People tend to expect that everyone interpret the world the same.

This has one serious consequence. A confused person is usually quickly inventing an explanation (we don’t like confusion and we need to find an order) which he or she will stubbornly believe and the more you will try to persuade someone on the contrary the more evidence he will find to support his original idea (which he invented to explain the confusion).

For eg. a husband is used to a welcoming embrace of his wife inviting him whenever he arrives home, when he doesn’t receive it he can easily start to believe that he’s being cheated even though his wife had just a terrible day and was taking a rest. The more she’s trying to explain it the more confident is the husband that his idea is correct. The wheel of confusion starts to roll and the couple will have it very difficult to find the same reality again.

Types of confusion

– Meaning based on own perspective:
“He smiles at me because he’s in love with me, while he smiles at every one because he won in a lottery.”
– Paradoxes:
“Do it as you like, but I would prefer if you do it my way!”
– Punctuation:
“Woman: without her, man is nothing” vs. “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”
– Translation:
I love desserts vs. I love deserts.

There’s a bright side to confusion as well. Sometimes in the state of confusion we create the best possible solution out of many possibilities. Taoists call it ‘Wu-wei’ – it’s a state when we choose the one right solution despite our ignorance of the best logical solution. Through the veils of unknown we seems to be able to achieve real breakthroughs.”

So after reading all this I must confess I feel more confused than clear. What I understand is that one person’s reality may be another person’s lie. And both of them could be right in their own way! It depends on so many factors such as our childhood, our relationships, our past experiences, our present truths and so on. Basically communication is tough especially if you are trying to convince a significant other about your reality. I would say that if we believe in our truth and persevere in our efforts with sincerity then eventually the other person will believe it too. Or they will convince you of an alternate reality. Now that is also okay? After all a significant other means someone you trust implicitly. When love and trust is a common bond between two people, I feel all else will get sorted out. You get me? Right?

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