#30daysofwriting – Aug 17th

#30daysofwriting #writeyourselfalive #writeeverydamnday #justwrite

Aug 17th

So here I am. Still writing. Its been 16 days! More than half the 30 day challenge cycle. It’s been such a crazy rush that I have not even been able to pause and reflect on the most important thing. The fact that I have been writing every single day! Trust me, it has not been easy. Life has not paused or made any remarkable changes to make it easier for me to write every day; not just write for the sake of writing but actually to write my heart out every single day. I know that’s what I have been doing. And now that I know it can be done, I don’t ever want to stop. I hope I can keep doing this even after the 30 day period. But I don’t know about that. I do know, however, that I will do everything I can to complete this challenge. I want to. Actually, I need to. For my sake. To make me believe in myself – once again!

I believe my life has been one continuous, never ending roller coaster ride, till date. If it started slowly, and I say IF because I’m not too sure about that period of my life, then it started to pick up during my teenage years when I remember some close friendships and amazing music that kept me going and enjoying the rush of the ride. Later during college years, there were some periods of low and some periods of high, which kept intersecting so often that I was left almost disoriented by the end of it. Yet I managed to keep dreaming and believing in the power of the present to make things happen!

Then after graduation, it was mostly downhill as I struggled to find my footing until I ended up doing my post graduation in an entirely new field. Most well wishers warned me about my possible mistake. Encouragement was much less and from unexpected quarters often. Yet I went ahead and completed my course with flying colors. That period was a definite high with new friendships and partnerships leading to new (ad)ventures into the unknown but with courage and determination fueling the surge of energy. And success was always there! Egging me on. Cheering me on.

When career and work was going well, my personal life went for a turn. The ride got bumpy and I fell sick. I lost faith in myself and reached the end of the tunnel. It took some time for me to figure out that I needed help and finally things fell into place in such a way that I started to realize that indeed there was a “Universe” looking out for me! She taught me this very gently but in a consistent manner and with her help, I started to regain my sense of self and my confidence returned. I left my comfort zone and pushed my boundaries. That was when I learned very important lessons about love, forgiveness, personal space and real freedom.

Once I was more sure of myself I returned to face my world. Face my fears and start afresh. I did the best I could but it was another downward turn as I could not make things happen as I wanted to. Then I decided to let it all go and learned to give in and go with the flow. Just to see where it would take me. Now here I am. At a safe place but one that I realize is not making me happy. It is time I made the choice. Once again. Time to move out of my comfort zone. Rock the boat. For life is in the here and now. And it is not going to wait for me. And unless I start now, I am going to have not much time left! For living the life I know I deserve! How can I wait any longer? I know I can’t see my safety net but guess what, I am going to jump anyway. Coz that’s what I got to do. I know it. And that’s all that matters.

Let me end my post today with a quote by Scott Stabile –
“Don’t worry if you are making waves simply by being yourself. The moon does it all the time.”

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