#30daysofwriting – Aug 5th

#30daysofwriting #writeyourselfalive #writeeverydamnday #justwrite

Aug 5th

Why do I write? This question has been bothering me for a while now. I mean here I am. An intensely private person. Someone who does not open up fully to others. I do share a lot of stuff with people close to me. I mean my ideas, thoughts, experiences, and so on. But there is this special space inside of me. A space where only my thoughts reside. For me, this space is sacred. It is where I retreat to often in order to recharge myself. It is where I connect with myself on a regular basis.

Introspection? Perhaps that’s what it is. I introspect a lot. It is what keeps me sane in this crazy world. As sane as I can get, that is. And by doing this I am learning to pause and take a breath in this whole mad rush. Sometimes when things start to spiral out of control and I am bombarded with too many issues at the same time, I realize there is only so much multitasking that one can do. Especially when it comes to emotions and feelings, we definitely need to prioritize and make choices.

When we make a choice, between a Yes and a No, we are taking responsibility for our decision. It is not always a simple choice and I believe often our life’s direction is influenced by our choices so we need to really invest our time and energy into it. Once a choice is made, we need to have the courage to say it out loud and deal with the repercussions of that choice. Of course we can always change our mind. And I do that often. But we also need to realize that some decisions need to be given the time to reach their logical (sometimes even illogical) conclusions. It’s okay if they don’t work out as you planned. We can’t be right always. Be gentle with yourself first. Then be gentle with others around you also.

Everyone is on their own journey and though we choose our travel partners in this life they always have the choice of branching off on their own personal journeys. Some will be with you for a long time while others may come and go. Either way it’s not entirely up to you so best would be to let it be. Enjoy the company while it lasts. Be good company to others. And strive to be your own best companion so you would never feel lonely. Learn to be alone. It is in your moments alone that you are able to hear your inner voice the best. If we are able to tune into our inner voice most of our confusions will clear away. Not everyone gets to that point initially, but it is possible. If not every time, atleast on some occasions and that is when we need to be careful so as not to drown out that inner voice.

Silence is something most people cannot handle. I notice how most people these days tend to use every possible distraction (mobile phone, ipad, tablet, laptop, computer, ipod, music player, ebook reader, video games, television, radio etc.) if they ever find themselves alone. Sometimes this happens even when we are with someone and there is a silent moment being shared. Why is that so? I believe it is because our inner voice reaches out to you in your moments of silence/solitude and it does not try to tell you what you want to hear but often it’s the raw truth. This is hard to digest so we tend to drown it out somehow and not listen. Our inner voice does not back down but it is only accessible to those who try to listen. It is our choice whether we want to listen to it or not. I have always heard my inner voice. Sometimes it is barely audible and I have to pause and hold my breath in order to catch what’s being conveyed while sometimes it is so loud that I have to close my ears tight so that I don’t get hurt. And of course some days we have a pleasant conversation. Me and my inner voice. I know it is important for me to stay in touch with my inner voice. I also know it is important for everyone to keep the conversation flowing with their own inner voices. But then again, I can only live my life. You need to live yours. Choice, remember?

Coming back to my question again, why do I write? I ask this because I believe every writer craves an audience. And true writing is unabashedly honest. This means that I am basically opening up my inner self to just about anyone reading my blog. This includes complete strangers. So how is this possible? Why does it not bother me that I am making myself vulnerable in front of the whole world. Or even just my whole world. Like I said earlier, every writer has something to say. And every story needs to be heard. Maybe we could choose our audience and that might be a possibility too. However I am at a stage where I could not care less. As long as I am putting my words out there, why bother about who or how many are going to see it? There are only two possibilities. Either you like it. Or you don’t. Since I’m fine with both these reactions, what does it matter who is reading all this stuff?

Ramblings of a complicated soul. That is what I could call these words of mine. Maybe even confused soul. I know I am complicated. How can I say so? Because I know nothing about me could be simple. Just like nothing about anybody can be simple. We can call it so. But then that does not make it simple, does it? We might crave simplicity. And it is within reach, for sure. But you do have to Reach for it. It might take time. If you can keep your focus and stay committed, it is possible. Life is simple. It is. We make it complicated. You and Me.

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