#30daysofwriting – Aug 2nd

#30daysofwriting #writeyourselfalive #writeeverydamnday #justwrite

Aug 2nd

Why are relationships so complicated? Why is it that two people who can make each other very happy simply by being themselves and caring for the other end up hurting each other for no reason at all.

Maybe the reason is that we all feel most alive when we are experiencing extreme emotions. Extreme happiness. Extreme pain. Extreme anger. Nothing in moderation can give you that kind of rush. Know what I mean?

Just go back into your past. Do a thorough search into the recesses of your mind. Go deep into the life experiences you cherish the most. What do you remember? I believe most of us will remember the pain first. Unless you have experienced joy of a very high degree. Happy moments could include excelling in your studies, winning a contest, meeting and sharing a special moment with your idol, your first kiss, becoming a parent, etc etc. You get my drift. Painful moments leave a deeper scar and these too you remember based on the intensity. Death, separation, heart break and so on. Anger is the other extreme emotion we could all do without. Since this rarely happens we all have our episodes with anger that leave us with memories that are mostly best forgotten. And that rarely happens too.

So my point here is that maybe in relationships we all tend to take out our insecurities on the most intimate partner we share our lives with. Intimate need not be just physical. Emotional intimacy is also a strong contender here. We want to share our life entirely with the other. This includes our good as well as bad. And though we know we are doing this, we still expect the other to be able to handle it with grace and be able to absorb it all without even a whimper. After all the insecurities are yours and the other only has to deal with the side effects of these core issues. Right? Wrong.

Every person has their own share of emotional baggage. This needs to be constantly worked upon with the view to ensure that we are able to reach that stage where we have minimal or no baggage from the past. This will ensure a much better present and a possibility of a happier future. All of us need to do this. And we are responsible to our own self for this. A true partner is one who will be able to support you in this endeavor by being there as a sounding board when you need to vent. Be a shoulder you can lean on when you are exhausted by the emotional work you are doing to improve yourself. Love you unconditionally so that you find the courage and inspiration to keep working till you reach the goal. What you need to remember always is that there is only so much that can be done by a partner. You should not make them responsible for your baggage clearance. They will always be a support but not your dumping zone. They have their own baggage to work on. So you need to be their support too. You both need to alternate this in a fair manner so that there is always the freedom to grow within the relationship.

 

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