I fell from my cycle. Twice. In ten days. Second time worse than the first. The point is it made me stop and pause a bit. Made me wonder what the Universe was trying to tell me. Not sure if I’m getting it right this time.
What I did realize though was that when I fall I REALLY fall. I mean I fall well. Without any resistance. Some kind of free fall. With only one thing on my mind at the time. That I don’t crash into a parked vehicle or end up scratching my cycle. Without any care as to what happens to ME. Now isn’t that the darnedest thing?
Yes, I can pass it off thinking that it showed some kind of free spirit, devil may care attitude and all that. But I can’t. As I know it signifies something else maybe. A lack of care about oneself is nothing to be proud of actually. And I am the one preaching self love to everyone around me always. So what’s with the dichotomy? Why this seemingly blaring double standard?
Have I reached that level of numbness out of the monotony that has undoubtedly crept into my life? Like I read somewhere recently, some people visualize their dreams in such amazing detail in their dreaming state that they lose the drive to wake up and go make those dreams come alive. Point is they have already experienced the joys of that dream in their sleep! Has that happened to me? Am I getting complacent, happy with enjoying my dreams while sleeping?
What I need to do now is to pause. Big time. Reassess what’s important to me and prioritize my dreams. Having too many dreams is also sometimes a little much. Too much sometimes. We need to give up something to get some thing. And sometimes it’s really hard to give up. But if we take that plunge, I assure you that it will be worth while. How do I know, you may ask?
You are right. I have my past to talk about. I have my big dreams and my philosophy of life. I have my words. My smile. And my heart. But that’s not enough. I need to go do it. Not just now. But keep doing it so that no one will need to ask me anymore. They only need to see my life and say, there now she is doing it. Now that’s a plan. While I start waking up and working on my gameplan, perhaps YOU need to use my story to start work on yours.
Or do you want to wait till you fall too? Twice, like me? Choice is yours. Always.